Articles dominating my corner of the internet today:
Telling a Woman to Get A Gun Is Not Rape Prevention (which is a post linked to a segment in which Sean Hannity* can’t process the idea that we should be teaching people not to rape rather than teaching women to arm themselves to deter their rapists)
The conclusion I reach from the fact that all three of these are converging upon me today is: We have got it ALL WRONG when it comes to ending rape and rape culture.
Today, the media is telling people that the perpetrators of rape are the true victims. It’s telling victims of domestic abuse that they can be even more doubted and victimized if they report their abusers. It’s telling women that if they aren’t armed, their rape is their fault because they should’ve been ready to defend themselves.
If we want to dismantle rape culture and end sexual violence, we need all of these things to happen:
We need a common understanding that victims of rape, sexual assault, and abuse are NEVER at fault for the crimes perpetrated against them.
We must have access to resources for victims of abuse that victim/survivors feel comfortable and safe using.
We have to teach people not to rape rather than trying to create strategies for people to keep from being raped – they don’t work. The only people who can stop rape are the people who decide not to rape.
We have to get away from the idea that people who perpetrate crimes of sexual violence are anonymous, bad enigmas, who crawl around in underground tunnels until they jump from behind the bushes. The majority of sexual violence happens between people who already know each other.
We need to address the parts of our culture that teaches young people, particularly young men, that they are entitled to women’s bodies, and that they don’t have to respect when someone says no, or when someone is too sick or intoxicated to consent.
We need mechanisms to address sexual violence and domestic abuse that both trust and validate victims, and hold perpetrators accountable.
We have a lot of work to do.
Here’s a fourth article that just popped up, which is a really important part of this whole puzzle: if we really want to end a culture of violence and oppression, we have to dismantle the prison industrial complex and stop putting people in cages.
Rape, Cages, and the Steubenville Verdict by Mia McKenzie
It’s not as simple as just throwing people in jail for committing rape.
*whoops – meant Sean Hannity, not Bill O’Reilly